I saw this question posted in a Facebook group and I and I had to give my 2 cents on this very popular situation. Here is the question.
I need advice please.
I am divorced and in a new relationship. However my 5 years old son won’t have it. He doesn’t like when my new man kisses or hugs me. He feels jealous and cries sometimes. I thought he would get over it but I am beginning to get concerned. Once my partner is around me, my son makes sure he sits in between us and clings to me etc.
His dad and I started having issues when I was pregnant with him and his birth was my comfort at that time and gave me something lovely to focus on. My son didn’t see show of affection between his dad and I either.Help!
Between You and Me, you are in a sticky situation but it can and will turn around for you. I always say to single moms that they should never introduce your kids to someone you are dating too fast. Make it known to your potential partner that you a package deal parent but that’s it. As far as you kids. If they are young, you don’t have to mention it to them when you are in the beginning phase.
From this letter i assume that she you are involved exclusively with this new guy. Slowly and gradually talk to your son about affection. Let him know that kisses and hugs mean “I love you.” Let him know that lots of people love him and also let him know that lots of people love you as well.
Show him movies, shows and even cartoons where there is a family dynamic. Lots of shows have mommy’s with husbands or boyfriends. Talk to him while watching with him. Simply say to him. “look son, he is so nice to her. He is holding her hand. He is so sweet.” Kids tend to let their guard down when they know that someone is being nice to mommy.
Go to a fun family friendly place with your son and your guy. Places like Chuck E Cheese would be a great place to have fun. You can get far when they associate people with fun. Let them interact with the games together.
Make it known with a stern but loving tone that your partner is going to be around. Tell him that this is your friend and he will be present. Don’t sell him on forever because forever could be a false. Let your son know that you love him and that nothing will ever change that.
It all breaks down to assurance. Assurance that mommy is still mommy and isn’t going anywhere.
Are you a parent and are going through a similar situation? Let us know in the comments how you are handling it.
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